Here We Come a'Wassailing
by gwennie3579
Summary: Sequel to "In Brandy, Truth" and "Clocked." Will reveals Quinn's last secret to Finn, and the two find comfort in the only place they can -- each other.


**Disclaimer:** I own nothing except a lazy cat and approximately seventeen shades of lip gloss. Oh, and my self respect. The Glee kids and all related characters, plots, settings, etc. are not mine.

**A/N:** Follow-up to _In Brandy, Truth _and _Clocked. _I'd like to say thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to my reviewers. I haven't been able to respond to each of you individually yet, but I SO appreciate your comments and encouragement! This is technically AU now, though this story on its own can sort of fit into canon.

Finn fumbled the key into the lock, feeling the same jittery nervousness he always felt right before a big game. Willing his hands not to shake, he turned the key and leaned his hip into the door, shoving it past the doorjamb.

"It's a little tricky sometimes," he said, casting an apologetic smile over his shoulder. "Last summer I had to crawl through the window three times 'cause it kept getting stuck."

Will Schuester nodded, looking slightly uncomfortable, and followed his student through the door into the small house. Finn led him into a tidy but modestly-decorated living room, and gestured to a threadbare sofa. Will sat down hesitantly, taking in the wood-encased console TV that was probably older than Finn, with a row of moderately embarrassing school pictures in a neat row on top.

"Um... can I get you anything?" Finn asked, stepping in front of the TV and blocking Will's view of his mom's little shrine. "A drink, or a sandwich or anything?"

"I'm fine," Will said, "but thanks."

"Oh." Finn looked down at his hands, clasped in front of him, and felt momentarily awkward. He hadn't really expected his teacher to take him up on his invitation, but Will looked so depressed and lost after admitting Terri's betrayal, he couldn't help but ask. Now that he was here, he wasn't quite sure what to do.

Seeming to sense the younger man's discomfort, Will gave him a somewhat forced smile. "Actually, I think I _will_ take something to drink."

Finn looked up, giving him a relieved grin, and made for the kitchen. "I think we've got Coke," he called over his shoulder. "And maybe milk." Tugging open the refrigerator door, he pulled out the nearly-empty gallon jug and screwed off the cap, raising it to his nose for a tentative sniff.

"Scratch the milk," he said, recapping the jug and putting it back in the fridge. Spotting a pitcher in back on the bottom shelf, Finn shuffled around some Tupperware containers of leftover meatloaf and pulled it out. "We've got Kool-Aid," he said, pulling two glasses down from a cupboard.

"Um... that'll be alright," Will said, as Finn began pouring. He carried the two glasses back into the living room and handed one to his teacher, who took it with a muttered "thanks" and a fleeting glance. Finn followed the direction of Will's gaze, and saw that he was staring at the lopsided Christmas tree in the corner.

"Mom's had it since I was a baby," he said, giving the ragged tree a fond smile. "We named it Charlie."

"Charlie?" Will said, holding his glass tightly in both hands but not taking a drink.

"Yeah, because it's just about as pathetic as the Charlie Brown tree," Finn said wryly.

Will laughed, and gave Finn a real smile, which warmed him from head to toe. Feeling suddenly flushed, he looked around the cramped room, wondering why there weren't more places to sit. There was a laundry basket full of clothes in the recliner, and it didn't occur to Finn to move it. Will, apparently realizing he was going to continue standing there, shifted to the far end of the couch, inclining his head toward the now-empty seats.

Finn sat down on the edge of the cushion, one hand clenched tightly around his glass, the other drumming an erratic beat against his thigh. Will lifted his glass and took a sip, then immediately began to choke and sputter, eyes going wide with surprise. Finn, not sure what had happened, scooted closer, slapping the older man on the back a few times and watching him worriedly. Eventually, Will let out a few weak coughs and held up a hand, indicating he was alright.

"That's, uh.... that's _some _Kool-Aid," he said, looking warily down at the dark red liquid in his glass. "That your mom's special recipe?"

Finn frowned, and took a small sip of his own drink, grimacing at the unexpected taste of liquor. "I don't think that's Kool-Aid," he said, and Will snorted, raising an eyebrow.

"You don't say?"

Finn wrinkled his brow, thinking back to the night before, when his mom had spent the evening puttering around the kitchen, hovering over a big steaming pot on the stove.

"Mom did say something about making some kind of punch for a Christmas party," he said, looking down at his drink. "But then I thought she said she was taking waffles instead."

"_Waffles?_" Will said, sounding amused. "Your mom is taking _waffles_ to a holiday party?"

Finn shrugged. " 'S what she said. I think."

"Huh," Will said. "Christmas waffles. Who would've -- oh! _Wassail_."

"What?" Finn said, frowing at the older man. "What's that?"

"Wassail. It's sort of a punch made out of mulled wine and ale. You know the carol -- 'Here we Come a' Wassailing'?"

Finn gave Will a skeptical look.

"Okay," he said. "Probably not."

"Do you want something else?" Finn asked, gesturing at Will's glass.

"No, that's alright. I'm fine with this. Unless you think your mom will be upset when she sees some of her punch is gone."

Finn shrugged. "I'll just tell her I thought the Kool-Aid went bad and poured it out. Besides, you sorta look like you could use a drink."

Will snorted, then raised his glass in a mock salute. "You're not wrong about that," he said.

The two of them sipped their drinks in silence for a long moment, though Finn decided, after his last foray into drinking away his cares, to take it pretty easy. Eventually, Will put his glass down on one of the coasters on the coffee table and sat back, looking at Finn with trepidation in his eyes.

"Finn... we need to talk."

Finn swallowed hard. The tone in his teacher's voice was foreboding. His nose ached from his close encounter with Will's door, and all he wanted was to take a few Motrin, put on some sweats, and play Halo 3 until he passed out. But the look on Will's face was so sad and concerned and... open. He couldn't turn him down if he needed to talk.

"Okay," he said, leaning back into the couch cushions and trying to seem relaxed. "Go ahead."

"Well," Will said, then cleared his throat. "This, uh.... this isn't easy. I don't quite know how to tell you..."

"Look, Will," Finn said, giving him a knowing look, "I understand what you're going through."

Will raised his eyebrows. "You do?"

"Yeah. This is just like what happened with Quinn. I mean," he added quickly, hoping he didn't offend the older man, "we aren't married or anything, but she still lied to me. She still... cheated on me. So... I know how you feel. And it really sucks."

"Finn... that's not... that's not exactly what I wanted to talk to you about," Will said, his forehead creasing as a look of pity stole across his face.

"Oh. Well, what is it, then?"

"It's about Quinn and the baby. You see, Terri, my.... wife... wasn't really pregnant." Will's voice choked on the word "wife," and Finn was so struck by his obvious pain he almost didn't catch the rest of the sentence.

"Wait... _what_?" Finn said. "I thought... I thought she was knocked up by somebody else." Finn flinched at his crude phrasing, but it didn't seem to phase Will.

"No," he said, shaking his head. "She didn't cheat." He laughed bitterly. "It'd almost be easier if she had."

"I don't get it," Finn said. A horrifying thought struck him. "Did she... lose the baby or something?"

"No. She was never pregnant. She thought she was, for a few weeks, but... but it wasn't real. And she lied to me. She lied to me the whole time."

"Wow," Finn breathed, the weight of the situation hitting him. He felt a powerful wave of pity for his teacher, and wished he were sitting a little closer, so he could reach out and take his hand, or pull him into a hug. Heck, even a manly pat on the back might make him feel less... powerless to help.

"Yeah," Will said, not seeming to notice Finn's conflict.

"But... what does this have to do with Quinn?" Finn asked.

Will took a deep breath, and raised his eyes to meet Finn's. Finn was momentarily lost in the intensity of the gaze, and had to mentally shake himself in order to pay attention.

"Finn," Will began, clasping his hands nervously in his lap, "Quinn was planning to... give the baby to Terri. She didn't think she could handle raising a child, and Terri offered to pay for all the medical bills, and give her money for the --"

"She _what_?" Finn said, and it suddenly felt as if the temperature in the room dropped by ten degrees. "She was going to -- to _sell_ our baby?"

Will bit his lip, and even in the midst of his shock and fury, Finn wanted to reach out and brush his thumb over the tender flesh. He stilled his hand just in the nick of time, keeping it balled in a fist between his knees.

"Finn --" Will said, but Finn couldn't listen. He shot to his feet, standing there for a long moment as if frozen in time. Finally, he squared his shoulders, and strode toward the hallway.

"Finn, what are you doing?" Will said behind him. Finn could hear him get up and follow him down the hall, but he didn't look back.

"I need a cigarette," he said in a clipped voice.

"Finn --" Will said, a note of disapproval evident in his voice.

"Mom quit about a year ago, but she keeps an emergency pack stashed behind the hot water heater," he continued, not acknowledging Will's interruption. "They're stale as hell, but who cares?"

"Finn..." Will said again, and Finn whirled around to face the older man, issuing a silent challenge as he stared down at him. Will looked conflicted for a moment, but then he sighed, shoulders sagging in defeat.

Finn nodded, then turned to open the utility closet door.

"Want one?"

There was a pause, and Finn thought Will simply going to ignore him. Then, he heard another sigh.

"Yeah. I do."

Fifteen minutes later, the two were flat on their backs on the giant trampoline in the backyard, shivering in the frigid air. Finn puffed on the cigarette, blanching at the foul taste, but fully appreciating the pleasant nicotine buzz that slowly spread through him.

"It's cold," he said needlessly, staring up at the clear, star-studded sky.

"Mmm," Will answered, flicking his spent cigarette into the bushes. "It's finally starting to feel like winter."

"Think it'll snow for Christmas?"

"You never know. It_ is_ Ohio."

Finn laughed quietly. "Yeah. Want another one?" he asked, waving the pack of cigarettes over toward his teacher.

"No, thanks," Will said, shaking his head. "I think I've met my quota for 'destructive behaviors' and 'poor role-modeling' tonight."

"You're not a bad role model," Finn said softly, ashing over the side of the trampoline and taking another drag.

"Oh, no?" Will said, a tinge of bitterness in his voice. "Drinking, smoking, sharing personal information with a student? I think that qualifies me for the 'Worst Role Model of the Year' award."

Finn didn't contradict him. He knew Will was feeling sorry for himself. He understood what that was like, so he let it go.

"You know who's a really terrible role model?" he said finally.

"Who?"

"Mrs. Sylvester."

Will laughed, and quickly tried to stifle it.

"I mean," Finn continued, holding back a laugh of his own, "_dude_. What is _wrong_ with her? Did her parents run over her puppy when she was a kid? Or did she find out there was no Santa way too young? Was she only ever allowed to eat liver and onions? Or maybe," Finn said, warming up to his own joke, "maybe no one ever told her to avoid yellow snow, and she's been pissed off ever since."

Finn could feel the nylon netting of the trampoline quivering slightly beneath him, and was pleased he was able to make Will laugh when he was feeling so low. Smiling, he turned his head to look at the older man, and was shocked to see tears streaking down his face as his shoulders shook with silent sobs.

"Will," he said, rolling onto his side. "_Hey_..."

"I was going to be a dad," he said, voice thick with tears. "I saw the sonogram -- _Quinn's_ sonogram -- and I fell in love with that little girl. I can't believe I was so stupid..."

"You're _not_," Finn said firmly, putting an arm around Will and pulling him up so they were facing each other. "I fell in love with that sonogram, too. I thought she was my daughter, too. I sang to her..."

"You did?" Will said, with a sniffle. It made him seem suddenly so young, Finn felt as if he was the adult. It was strange, and he wasn't sure he liked feeling the weight of all that responsibility, but he knew he couldn't stop the protective surge that flooded through him when he looked at his teacher's puffy eyes and red nose... nor did he want to stop it.

"Yeah," Finn said, voice hoarse. "Kurt told me I should sing out all my feelings, so..."

"So you sang," Will finished, and Finn gave him an embarrassed nod. Will smiled, his tears finally drying up. He gave Finn a look that made his insides go all shivery. It wasn't entirely unpleasant.

"Kurt can be pretty perceptive sometimes," Will said quietly, and Finn agreed.

"He told me girls were nothing but trouble. Boy, was he ever right."

Will chuckled softly, and it warmed Finn through. He gave Will a smile and the two locked gazes. Finn suddenly felt as if the trampoline was a life raft. The rest of the world existed beyond its nylon confines, and so long as the two of them stayed put, nothing could touch them.

It was with this thought in mind that Finn leaned forward and pressed his lips against Will's. His teacher's mouth was cool and unmoving against his own, but Finn was suddenly feeling reckless, and he wasn't about to stop.

He pressed his mouth more insistently against his teacher's and, finally, he felt Will yield to him ever-so-slightly. Finn brought a hand up to cup the older man's cheek, and felt a little thrill as Will reached up to cover it with his own.

"Will," he breathed against the other man's lips, which were becoming warm and pliant beneath his. He mused that it was very different from kissing Quinn. She was soft and smooth all over, and smelled like the Burberry perfume he bought her for her birthday.

Will's lips were soft, too, but he was altogether harder and more aggressive, without even trying to be. His day-old stubble prickled against Finn's skin in a way that was more exciting than irritating. Will tasted like smoke and Christmas, and Finn could just detect a hint of cologne that was masculine but not overwhelming. It was the same smell he'd noticed that day they shared a hug in Will's apartment, and it drove Finn crazy.

"Finn," Will said, putting a hand to Finn's chest and gently pushing him back a few inches. Finn opened his eyes, feeling a little dazed, and blinked, as if coming out of a trance. Will's eyes were wild, his lips pink and swollen, and he was breathing as if he'd just attempted to run a 10k without bothering to train.

"Please," Finn said, though he didn't know what he was pleading for. Will not to stop, he supposed, or not to judge him or hate him or - even worse - laugh at him.

"Finn, we can't. I... can't," Will said, and Finn was secretly pleased at the tremor in his voice. "I'm your _teacher_."

"Not now, you're not," Finn said, and Will looked at him, confused. "You're _not_," he repeated, looking Will directly in the eye. "Right now, you're my... my friend. Right now, you're a guy who got a really shitty deal, and so am I. And you're the only... you're the only person who's made me smile in the last three weeks. You're the only one who knows what it feels like to be betrayed by the people you love, who're supposed to love you. You're the only one who makes me feel... anything." Finn paused and took a breath, trying to think of what to say next.

He didn't have to worry about it though, as Will's lips were suddenly on his, and the whole world started to make sense again. Finn was just beginning to find his footing and fall into the delicious rhythm of the kiss when Will pulled away. Finn kept his eyes closed this time, afraid to see the rejection in the older man's face.

"Finn, I... we can't," he said, but he raised a thumb and brushed it softly over Finn's bottom lip as he said it. His fingertips trailed up, and he ran one down the bridge of Finn's still-tender nose. "It isn't that I don't want to --"

"You don't?" Finn said, eyelids flying open. "I mean, you do? Want to?" Finn hated the need he could hear in his own voice, but he couldn't deny it was real. Will's gaze was unflinching.

"What you said -- it was all true for me, too. You're the only thing I look forward to every day."

Finn felt a flutter in his chest. He hadn't felt anything like it since the night with Quinn in the hot tub. He equated it with falling in love.

"But," Will continued, and Finn's heart sank. "I'm your teacher. I've been entrusted with educating and protecting you. I can't take advantage of --"

"But what if I want it, too --"

"_Finn_. You know I can't."

"I won't be your student forever..."

"But you're my student right _now_. And that's all that matters. It isn't that I don't care about you. I do. That's why I --"

"I guess you probably deal with a lot of student crushes," Finn interrupted, embarrassed to admit that's how he felt for his teacher, even though he'd been practically making out with the man just moments before.

"Yeah," Will said, with a small smile. "Rachel was very nearly the death of me. "

Finn's gaze snapped up to meet Will's. "Did you two... I mean, did you ever... with her?"

"What? God, _no,_ Finn!" Will said, looking horrified. "I never, I would _never_ have..."

"So it's just me," Finn said quietly. "I'm the only one. "

"Yes," Will said, "you're the only one."

"Oh." Finn wasn't quite sure how to process this. He thought he had an idea of what Will was saying, but he was afraid to get it wrong – afraid to expect something he didn't have any right to. "My mom will be home soon," he said, feeling a little cowardly.

Will nodded, and Finn felt both thrilled and saddened by the disappointment in his eyes. "I need to go."

"I know."

"This can't... "

"It can't happen again," Finn said, suddenly very tired.

"Right."

Will pulled himself up and climbed off the trampoline, rubbing his arms to ward against the chill. For Finn, it had seeped into his bones, and he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to get rid of it.

"I can think about it, though," he called after his teacher, "right? Even though it'll never happen again?"

Will stopped, shoulders hunched, turned away from him.

"I don't have the strength to tell you not to," he said quietly.

"So don't," Finn said, sitting up and crossing his arms over his chest.

Will stood there for a long moment, then turned and gave him a last, searing look before walking around the house back to the street. A few minutes later, Finn heard the sputtering sounds of an engine trying, and failing, to turn over.

Smiling just the tiniest bit, he hopped down from the trampoline and headed for the front yard. It looked as if his teacher was going to need a jump.


End file.
